DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
