I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
