I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
