haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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