well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
