Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
