my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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