the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize