ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
