He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i need an iv and a liver transplant
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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