Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
