It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
