So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
