She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
