I faked an abortion last night.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
