Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
