Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
