More tranny stories later!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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