I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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