oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
