Just mADE A PArabola og urine
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
