Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
