What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
