You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
