I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
