Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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