I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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