Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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