my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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