Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
