So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
