I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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