We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
