Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize