The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
