She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
