It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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