You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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