its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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