I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
