the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
