For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
