At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
