We're facebook friends in real life
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
