i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
