Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
