his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
whose parrot is this?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
