That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
even my farts smell like vagina
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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