the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
