Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
