HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
