Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
