4 words: hood of his car
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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