Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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