drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
