a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
