Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize