belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize