we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize