U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
