you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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