LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
