I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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