And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
