you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Your penis caused this!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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