my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
