Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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